More Free Play, Less Pressure, and Fewer Screens

Cosmologist Brian Swimme's latest book Journey of the Universe explains about young people, that “what often occupies their consciousness is play. They leap and twist; they explore the world with their eyes; they taste the world with their mouths; they enter into many kinds of relationships out of sheer curiosity. With their play, they are discovering the exuberance of being alive.” (p. 85) This observation resounded with me during parent-teacher conferences, when several parents said that their children experienced a positive change when their lives were less managed and they were allowed more free time to play.

Parents often express concern over such issues as their child's academic progress, time management, motivation, and social behavior. There is a fine line between adult guidance of a child and imposition of will upon him/her. Maria Montessori identified a teacher’s purpose: "to aid life, leaving it free, however, to unfold itself." Some parents ask what they should do at home to reinforce expectations at school, whether they should withhold extracurricular activities such as swimming or at-home play until their child performs the desired behavior. My consistent suggestion is to support the child wherever s/he is in his/her development and to avoid adding any pressure in the manner of rewards and punishments. It is relieving to hear so many parents validate how this approach of loving support benefits children's confidence, independence, and internal motivation. (PLAY Brown's TED talk on the subject below!)

In my daily interactions with students over the past decade, I have observed that children respond to respect, guidance, honesty, and flexibility. Montessori famously said, "The prize and punishments are incentives toward unnatural or forced effort, and therefore we certainly cannot speak of the natural development of the child in connection with them." Parents experiment with approaches, and some try to externally motivate their child with points, purchases, even food – soon discovering that their child no longer cares as much about what they are learning as with the carrot at the end of the parental stick. External motivation nearly always backfires, engendering resentment in the heart of the child, who understands very quickly that s/he isn’t trusted with his/her own education.

The crucial impact of play on the emotional, social, and cognitive development of children is described in the 2009 book Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Stuart Brown. A medical doctor, psychiatrist, and clinical researcher, Brown discusses how experts “from every point of the scientific compass now know that play is a profound biological process… It shapes the brain and makes animals smarter and more adaptable… it fosters empathy and makes possible complex social groups. For us, play lies at the core of creativity and innovation.” (p. 4-5) Despite this fact, children in many families learn -- from example -- that play is valued less than work and that work life blurs into private time without consideration for our emotional and spiritual needs.

Brown explains, “At some point, as we get older… we are made to feel guilty for playing. We are told that it is unproductive, a waste of time… The play that remains is, like league sports, mostly very organized, rigid, and competitive… The beneficial effects of… true play can spread through our lives, actually making us more productive and happier in everything we do.” (p. 6-7) Brown identifies seven properties of play: 

• “apparently purposeless (done for its own sake),
• voluntary,
• inherent attraction,
• freedom from time, 
• diminished consciousness of self, 
• improvisational potential, 
• and continuation desire… 

We are fully in the moment, in the zone. We are experiencing what the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihaly calls ‘flow’.” (p. 17) It is this flow that parents hope their children will experience when they send them to Montessori school, yet this same priority must also be consistently maintained at home. (PLAY Csikszentmihaly's TED talk below!)

Brown cites renowned Washington State University play researcher Jaak Panksepp, who has found that “active play selectively stimulates brain-derived neurotrophic factor (which stimulates nerve growth) in the amygdala (where emotions get processed) and the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (where executive decisions are processed).” (p. 33) Just as author Richard Louv coined the phrase “nature deficit” in children lacking contract with the outdoors, Brown notes a “ play deficit much like the well-documented sleep deficit”. (p. 43) He warns that "the threat to play is even greater than it was a generation or more ago… Kids today are spending too much of their time on video games… and the parentally organized, high expectation trip to the soccer field at age six… Schools have evolved into assembly lines for high test scores, where skills are drilled… Something is lost – perhaps unfettered imagination and freedom.” (p. 79) Free play is nearly extinct, except in half-hour allotments of recess.

Brown asserts that “movement structures our knowledge of the world, space, time, and our relationship to others… Movement play lights up the brain and fosters learning, innovation, flexibility, adaptability, and resilience... which are required for the emergence of fluent human language.” Especially relevant to Montessori classrooms, Brown describes how “object play with the hands creates a brain that is better suited for understanding and solving problems of all sorts.” Imaginative play “remains the key to emotional resilience and creativity… developing empathy, understanding, and trust of others, as well as personal coping skills.” (p. 84-87) For many students, their school day begins at seven in the morning and ends at six in the evening with after-school care. Many have multiple evening and weekend "enrichment" activities, with very little free play time for themselves. As I have seen on many occasions that children seem afraid of nature and don't know how to enter it nor enjoy its wonder.

“We may think we are helping to prepare our kids for the future when we organize all their time, when we continually ferry them from one adult-organized, adult-regulated activity to another," Brown suggests. "In fact, we may be taking from them the time they need to discover for themselves their most vital talents and knowledge… access to an inner motivation for an activity that will later blossom into a motive force of life.” Not long ago, Brown reminds us, “self-organized play was all kids did” and warns that if children are deprived of free play, “they will find their own new ways of asserting their own community, socialization patterns, and individuality… creating their own private play zone where they … socialize freely.” (p. 105-108). Brown points to the advent of texting, juvenile cell phone use, and online communities as examples of the new locations of children's privacy, in the absence of a back wood. Children are often left to their own devices, literally: an iPad, Wii, or YouTube. 

Screen play concerns Brown because it can “isolate people from real-world, human interactions that are an essential part of psychological health… The storyline is set by the box, and the kids are now merely along for the ride, motionless and mute… In the real world, the kind of emotional arousal that these screens and games produce is discharged through physical activity” without which “kids can become antsy and unfocused”. Screen play neglects “a deep human need to interact with the material world: to feel the tug of gravity, to physically move through the dimensions of space and time, to feel the physical resistance of solid objects.” Applicable to Montessori classrooms, Brown notes that “the use of the hands to manipulate three-dimensional objects is an essential part of brain development.” (p. 183-185) From a century ago, Montessori echoes Brown: "Movement, or physical activity, is thus an essential factor in intellectual growth, which depends upon the impressions received from outside. Through movement we come in contact with external reality, and it is through these contacts that we eventually acquire abstract ideas."

Montessori's observation -- that “work normalizes the child” – is also Brown’s advice: “The quality that work and play have in common is creativity. In both we are building our world, creating new relationships… Play is called recreation because it makes us new again.” It is “nature’s greatest tool for creating new neural networks and for reconciling cognitive difficulties.” (p. 127-128) So many Montessori materials appear to children as learning games: the stamp game, the checkerboard, the test tubes. Montessori students view education as play, because materials are ordered, thoughtful, beautiful, tactile, and fun!

Still, parents worry that their child may somehow fall behind others. Many parents show interest in test scores and would like to know where their child places amongst his/her peers. Quantitative, competitive measures are incompatible with the Montessori philosophy that each child grows at his/her own rate, learns by using  concrete materials, and values emotional and spiritual development as much as intellectual or social behavior. The latter two are easily determined, while the former involve understanding of and compassion for a child's uniqueness. Montessori believed that "when dealing with children, there is greater need for observing than of probing." 

No child will be left behind when each child is respected. Brown reminds us that “people reach the highest levels of a discipline because they are driven by love, by fun, by play.” (p. 143) Chore charts and stars have no place in a respectful relationship between child and adult. Brown adds, “The acquisition of good grades or a big bonus, if not connected to the heart of life, is dispiriting, even if accolades accrue.” (p. 145) Seeking parental approval is on par with fear of parent disappointment. I am so proud to work at a school that provides open, proactive communication with parents, as well as vivid, qualitative narratives to describe a child better than any number or letter. 

Brown's advice to parents is succinct: more free play, less pressure, fewer screens. “Nature, with all its novelties and the play emotions stirred by its wonders, gets through to kids if the immersion can be tailored to fit their temperament and natural curiosity.” (p. 204) Parents are amazed to see their child's temperament, interests, self-esteem, and joy after an hour of free time in an open field. Children have the rest of their lives to live like adults; they only have one childhood. Let them go outside!